Dave Stein

The quest for God's bong.

An undead zombie wizard known as "The Litch" is hell-bent on devouring his victims and possessing the weak when his sacred crystal is stolen by a small-time crook and his crew of big-breasted witches. The Litch uses its power to transform into slimy mutant creatures, spilling gallons of blood from his victims on his quest to retrieve the crystal in order to rule the four worlds.

A slasher is killing surfers to make a surfboard out of human flesh.

Two friends Dennis and Joe join the military together. While on a routine mission, the two are quickly surrounded by enemy fire. When Joe stands up in the line of fire to run, Dennis pushes him out of the way and takes a bullet in the throat. Dennis wakes up in hospital to find Joe rewarded as a hero. Joe told a lie and took all the glory, and Dennis was left as a mute from the accident. Dennis can't talk, but actions speak louder then words. The two return home to N.Y. and now the war rages in the streets. Dennis wants revenge on Joe, so he will kill everyone close to him.

A slasher is killing surfers to make a surfboard out of human flesh.