Rachel Lovinger

An ill-tempered middle-management mafioso is set on delivering a suitcase full of money. Little does he know that taking an ontologically challenged self-driving taxi puts them on a collision course with fate-and a badly dressed pirate.

The tale of Stella, a young girl who falls in love with an ancient, beautifully-behaired bloodsucker named Edgar. They struggle to stay together in the midst of vampire carnage, but a love triangle bubbles up when a Michael Jackson-loving werewolf named Jack comes forward professing his own love for Stella. Meanwhile, a rival group of "real" vampires led by the evil Razor McBleed are prowling.